Sometimes I catch myself being withholding of my love and praise for my children. I know it sounds kind of horrible.

The truth is … it comes from a deeply ingrained and treacherous lie that if I offer too much love or praise that it will somehow inflate their egos to the point of making them feel too important and “spoiled” with love.

If you have immigrant parents, maybe you know what I’m talking about. Growing up, I learned quickly that love and praise had to be earned. I watched my friends and the kids on tv receive catch-your-breath embraces, shameless kisses, and ever elusive “I love you”s from their parents. The most accurate word I can find to describe it is “cherished.” These children were cherished.

We of course always had everything we needed: food on the table, a place to lay our heads, and an education. I am grateful to have had these things because it’s so much more than most have. But, I’m realizing that what I really wanted most was to be cherished.

I don’t want to leave this Earth without my children knowing that they are cherished, and to dispel this internalized lie from my own childhood.

I’m realizing that they will never tire of my love — never stop needing or wanting to hear that they are precious in my eyes or that grace abounds for the mistakes they have and will make. They will never stop needing to know that I will be here, no matter what.

So I’ll tell them, and show them, over and over and over again …

because if not now, when?

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Tiffany Chi Photography is a Newborn, Maternity, Baby, Family Lifestyle Photographer based out of Southern California, taking romantic and ethereal photographs.

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