Confession: 98.9% of the time, I have no idea what I’m doing.

Sometimes people will browse through these pretty photographs or read the curated captions, take a look at our family and think,

“Wow, they’ve really got it together.  They have the two kids, the dog, the house, and they’re livin’ it up in sunny, breezy Southern California with their pristine beaches and palm tree lidden skylines.”

Unfortunately, our life doesn’t look like that.

Behind these squares are hours upon hours of work: staying up late nights and waking up early.  It has been time away from my family, vacillating between self doubt and self flagellation for not being good enough, artistic enough, smart enough, capable, x-y-z enough in service of a mission that may never come to fruition, or prove itself to be unrewarding. 

Maybe as a self soothing mechanism, we tell ourselves that other people have it better, easier, more perfect and “figured out” than we do.  It’s easier to imagine someone else’s romanticized life and think it just has always been that way, or that it happened overnight.

You don’t see the times I’ve left Ellias in his crib to cry because I had “just one more thing” to finish up on my computer and felt the weight of mom guilt sink into my heart, and manifest its way into questioning whether or not I’m still a good mom, or the times we were simply too busy to cook anything for dinner and the kids snacked their way to bedtime with half a banana and a granola bar.  Most days, our heads are too buried in traffic from the daily commute that the skyline is more concrete and smog than palm trees and ocean. 

All of our days are numbered.  We all have the same hours in a day.  We’re all chipping away at this life, trying to chisel out some disjointed pieces, and come closer to something resembling a life, well lived, whatever that may look like.

Tiffany Chi Photography | Natural Light Photographer
Light and Airy Photos of Baby, Family, Newborn, Maternity, and Children

Orange County, CA

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