“One of the most tragic parts of being Asian American right now is that no one believed in the reality of our radicalized trauma until now. […] How do Asian Americans heal from a lifestime of hidden realities and unspoken trauma unrecognized by others?”

Jenny Wang

Clinical Psychologist
@asiansformentalhealth

I’m tired.  Last week was heavy, and I’m still reeling from trying to process everything.

What has hurt the most amidst all this isn’t even the dredging up of trauma and pain, but that some people just don’t seem to care and could barely be bothered to even recognize what’s happening. 

They say that in a public emergency situation, a victim often has to call out a specific person in the crowd: lock eye contact with an individual and ask for help in order to receive any help.  Why is this?

It’s something called Bystander Apathy.  The idea is that when one finds themselves in an emergency situation, their first instinct will be to DENY responsibility for helping the victim.  There have been numerous psychological studies documenting this phenomenon of “Diffusion of responsibility” — the problem is that the more bystanders there are, the less responsible each individual feels.  Bystander Apathy has created large vacuums of alternate realities where victims are gaslit and people die.

People assume that someone else will help or that someone else is better qualified to provide assistance. But if everyone assumes this, then NO ONE will intervene.

The second element fueling Bystander Apathy is “Pluralistic Ignorance”.  When we are in an ambiguous situation and we are not sure whether there is an emergency or not, we often look to others to see how they are reacting.

We assume that others may know something that we don’t, so we gauge their reactions before we decide how we will respond. If those around us are acting as if it is an emergency, then we will treat it like an emergency and act accordingly. But if those around us are acting calm, then we may fail to recognize the immediacy of the situation and therefore do nothing.

Trust me when I say, your silence is complicity, and it says more than you think.

Not only is it disempowering to those who are crying out for help, solidarity, and advocacy, but it is fueling Pluralistic Ignorance.  You never know who is looking to you to gauge how they are going to react.  If you remain silent in the face of violence and injustice, it’s more than likely you’re promoting silence and indifference in others. 

THIS is our cry for help.  If you need a specific call to action or are looking for a sign, this is it.  I’m calling on you, specifically.  I’m asking you to help. 

There is no diffusion of responsibility when it comes to being anti-racist.  It is your responsibility.  Use your voice in whatever capacity you’re able to – to reach the spaces, bubbles, and circles where my voice / our voices cannot. 

Do not just dismiss this and say that it’s “someone else’s problem” or that “someone else will do it.”  The fight for racial justice and equality is the banner over all of our heads.