July 11, 2021
I don’t have an amazing relationship with my father:
A fact that I have learned to live with over the years.
It’s not that the longing for a relationship ever went away … it’s just that the God-given desire of my little girl heart to be seen, known, and loved by my father has simply been deadened with years of unmet emotional needs and the gradual acceptance that I would have to do without them.
I sometimes see myself in my daughter’s eyes when she feels like she has disappointed her dad. There is this kind of unedited despair that wells up from the very core of her being. His opinion, his love, his acceptance of her — means absolutely everything. I can tell by the way these same eyes glow when he tells her “I love you. You’re special to me.”
I remember when they were first born, and on the hardest sleepless nights, he would cry out in frustration and anger that he felt useless, incompetent, unnecessary, and unneeded.
In their first year, babies tend to only want mama and it can be very discouraging and isolating for new fathers.
But, dads, I implore you to keep trying.
I promise you that they need you more than you know or realize.
They will never stop needing and wanting your love.
It may feel uncomfortable, but apologize when you’re wrong.
Your vulnerability will teach your daughters how they should be treated, and your sons how to treat others.
It has been so healing to watch my husband father our children — to see how his love truly is without boundary or limit, and to see him reclaim the pain of both our relationships with our own fathers in admitting his faults, and in his pursuit of their hearts.
Tiffany Chi Photography is a Natural Light Maternity, Birth, Fresh 48, Newborn, Baby and Family Lifestyle Photographer based out of Orange County and serving Southern California.
Natural Light, Bright, Light and Airy Baby Family In Home or Outdoor Location Photography Sessions.
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From California, to Paris, to Motherhood. This is my story.